I still love him
by Ayoungnovelist
Summary: What should of happened when Spencer confronted Toby, and how she should of told the girls. Who will be broken, and who will be pissed and who will they tell? Two will be broken, and what will happen when the lies are all destroyed. Two shot, unless you want me to write more.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a one shot unless I get reviews saying they would like to read more. This is what I think should of happened between Spencer and Toby, and how she told the girls.**

Spencer's POV

"Is this what you're looking for." I screamed at him, the person who was in the black hoodie. The identity that I had not known for months. I t was him, and I couldn't believe it. Everyone that hasn't been what I've been through says: Honesty is the best policy. Well, they're wrong. When you think that a person was honest with you, but was keeping the most twisted and darkest secrets that you never wanted to come out of a loved one's mouth. I could feel I was shaking, that I was losing it. That every thing in my world was tumbling down, falling on me, like a house collapsing on me and the consequences would live with me forever. I already knew who that person was and it killed me. Every second I thought of it being true, I felt like my heart was opening every time and that eventually it would break, and I could love him no more.

He turned around, and the face that I love, the face that I come to for everything in the world, was now a face that I wanted to kill. His head lifted and he turned around slowly, because he knew me well enough to know that I was a bomb that would trigger off any moment.

"How long have you known?" Any emotion void of his face, no guilt, no love for the woman he loves. Well, I think he doesn't love me anymore or ever did. He isn't even denying it, how could he? He could have killed Ali? He could have killed Maya? One of my best friends, and the girl that Emily loved. How could he do that to me, to Emily, Hanna and Aria for god knows how long. I walked over to him, and looked in his eyes. I didn't feel warmth and comfort their anymore, just violence. I took my hand and slapped him hard across the face. Hard. He didn't flinch. Or squirm. And he knows me well enough that I wasn't finished.

"Please tell me this isn't real, and that it is all a dream. How could you be the Bastard who was sending us those messages. You knew how much it hurt me, and you knew I turned to you. But, I want to know the freaking truth. How could you tell me you loved me, and how could you make me feel so safe when you were just a villain inside. At first, when you kissed me at the motel, I was so happy, and now to think. The person I gave everything to: My trust; my heart; my love and my virginity to was the person that I love. I am kicking myself inside, for letting me do this. I never gave anyone a key to my heart, to my secrets and I gave it to you." I tried to swallow the knot in my throat, and I successfully did.

"Pretending not to love me was the hardest thing you ever had to do," I scoffed, not believing anything he had said to me. " I thought you were trying to protect when you said lock your doors, but I'm guessing you had to make it a challenge. Make it more enjoyable to see the person you love world come crumbling down.

But, you know what the worst thing is, its not that you're the person who ran over Hanna, dug up a body, killed a few people, killed Maya, and that you made us all sleep with a knife under a pillow, that we all had panic attacks and hyperventilation every day when our phones rang, that we cried into our boyfriends and girlfriend's shirt every time some sort of shit happened and that you made us all want to kill ourselves. The worst thing is, is that I still love you, and after what you did I could never forgive you for this. So don't come crawling back in a month or so when you say that it was all just a stupid prank, and that you are sorry, and that you tried to get out of it. But you where apart of it. That you never wanted it to get this far, and that you didn't think it was serious. I want you out of our life's, out of Rosewood, and if you say to me again, that; pretending not to love you was the hardest goddamn thing you had to do in your life." My voice had raised, and then I remembered and couldn't believe I forgot. It was our anniversary.

"The hardest thing is, is that it is not easy finding out the person you love is –A, on our anniversary. It will be hard, but I never want to see you again, and stay away from us, you sick bastard. I hope you rot in hell. But the thing is to me, you already are. Your dead to me Toby. And you always will be." I gave him his pass to The Radley, and slapped him one more time, giving him his cue to leave. I was broken, and needed support.

_**SOS.**_ I sent to Hanna, Aria, Emily and Caleb. I needed to tell them the truth, and I needed comforting. I sat on my sofa, not caring that the door was broken, and that it was freezing. I felt no coldness around me. Just hatred to the man I used to call my future husband, the future father of my children. That was all in the past. I was staring into the fire so intently, that I didn't hear Caleb knock on the back door. He let himself in when I didn't answer. He sat down next to me.

"What's wrong" Just two words that I had longed to hear from Toby in a long time caused me to start sobbing. I didn't want an explanation as to why Caleb was here first. I was just happy that someone was here to hold me when times became rough. Too hard for me to handle. Caleb pulled me in for a hug, and I curled up next to him, crying into his shirt. I was lucky that I had a friend to hold me, but I didn't realize it. I was too torn. Too damaged to be worn out anymore. I let all my cares free and all my emotions take over my body. I was sobbing so hard, that I didn't realize that Hanna, Aria and Emily were in the room just moments later. I was still sobbing into Caleb, and thought that I had other strong-arms to help me when I'm about to break down and just want to fall off a cliff. I didn't know how long I had been sobbing, but they were still all there, when I swapped from Caleb to Emily. Emily was the person I felt sorry for out of all of the group. We just hugged, and then I started to hyperventilate.

"Breathe, just breathe!" Emily whispered soothingly as I was curled up into a ball against her. It took me a while to try and get the words out.

"I don't want to anymore, Em" I replied trying to sound strong, but I sounded defeated and weak. I could hear sniffling from everyone even Caleb. Emily, Hanna, Aria and I joined together for a group hug, and we let all of our huddled emotions get out of our system. It felt like hours had passed of me crying, the girls crying and Caleb crying. Hours had passed, and we were still awake. I had to tell them and this was the only time I could.

"I have something to tell you about Toby, but I need to talk about it upstairs" They followed me upstairs, we all had puffy eyes.

"Guys, I know who it is!" I said.

"What, I don't get it." Aria stated.

"I know who –A is." I could see they were staring at me, and I couldn't believe I just admitted it to myself. I could see Emily starting to go pale. I gave her a nod.

"NO! It can't be him, he's my best friend" Emily and I ran to the bathroom, we were vomiting, me the sink, and her the toilet. Someone held my hair back, as I vomited. This is because of him. Once I knew I wasn't going to be sick anymore – I hope- I turned around and faced Emily. We both had tears streaming down our faces, as reality came back to us. We hugged each other while the others had no idea what was going on. One down, three to go, it will be easy, is what I kept telling myself, but I knew it wouldn't be. After hugging so tightly, we walked back to my bedroom were the others had just come in to.

"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Hanna said.

"Toby's –A" I managed to stutter out, and as I did Hanna and Aria started sobbing. Hanna collapsed into Caleb and Aria moved to Emily and me. We just stayed there crying for what seemed like eternity, which in fact was just about another few hours. It was early morning when we all got up except Caleb to go vomit. We had made ourselves vomit from the tears we shed. Caleb got up and heard us, he walked into the bathroom, and tied my hair back. I was surprised that he didn't go to Hanna, but I had a sense that he knew I was taking it the hardest. After hell had happened, we all located back to my room, and all tied our hair up into a weak ponytail. Aria was the first one to break the silence.

"Shit!" She exclaimed, as she reached to get her phone. She scrolled down the list of missed calls she had got from Ezra. "I was supposed to call him, we were watching a movie when you texted. I knew something was wrong; we haven't had SOS in a long time. He said call to make sure that everything was okay."

"Sorry, he can come over. We need another one to protect us, cause I swear I saw a black hoodie." I said. Aria rang him, and put him on speaker, Ezra answered after one bleep.

"Hi, your on voicemail." Aria shouted to the phone.

"Are you alright!" Ezra answered back, Aria hesitated before she answered.

"No"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at Spencer's, you can come over!"

"Be there in a bit, Love you" I started silently crying and remembered the times when I said to Toby I loved him.

"Love you too" Aria weakly said, and hung up the phone. Bleep! All their phones bleeped at the same time. Aria only read hers, because as sure as hell everyone got the same text.

"What the…" Aria whispered.

"What is it!" Emily asked her voice full of curiosity.

"It's an apology. Sorry, for all the pain I've caused. I don't expect you to forgive me, and I'm not asking for you too. I just want you to keep safe –A." Before anyone could say anything, I walked over to the window, and lifted it up. And before anyone could ask what I'm doing, I shouted out what I've been wanting to shout to –A all this time.

"Fuck off Toby, Mona and any of their minions. I'm sick of you stalking us, now just leave the woods, my house, leave us alone. And for the record Toby we will never keep or feel safe again with you behind our backs" I felt better for shouting it out, and I didn't care who heard. We were all silent, but silently cheering that one of us had spoken up to –A. Ten minutes had passed when there was a knock on the door. Aria ran down the stairs, everyone following close behind. She looked through the peephole, and opened the door.

"Alright, What's wrong?" Ezra, asked noticing her tear streaked face, and puffy eyes.

"Can you just hold me" Aria whispered, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Ezra pulled Aria in for a hug, and stroked her hair. It was too much for me, and I ran upstairs, and collapsed on my bed. I prepared myself for the questions about Toby to come my way from my former English teacher. Aria walked in a few minutes later.

"Hey, how you doing?" She asked me, and I knew where it was heading, so I cut the conversation short.

"You can tell Ezra, but not with me and Em in the room, and I don't now how Han and Caleb are about this, but talk to him downstairs." I replied, getting to the point. I didn't want to talk about that son of bitch anymore. "Actually, bring him up here, I don't know if there is anything around downstairs."

"You sure?" I nodded in agreement. Aria once again ran down the stairs to get them. I covered my face in a pillow, and I thought to myself: How can I still love him. A tear slid down my face when Emily. She immediately sat next to me, we have been in this position for many hours. They filed in, and all sat down on the floor, Em and me on the bed, shielding each other from the pain.

"Alright, so let us three talk and don't interrupt." Aria said looking him straight in the eye.

"So you remember the bitch, Mona" Caleb started off, and Aria slapping him on the shoulder. "Well she was the first –A, and then Spencer almost died." Spencer half-groaning and half- speaking cut him off.

"Get this over with, I am dying right now inside just a little every second."

"And, then the night when Ali's body went missing, we all got a text. But we all thought it was a prank" Hanna was saying, but was yet cut off by Emily saying sorry for the millionth time. "It's fine Em, it never happened" Hanna said whispering to her. "Anyways, they started up again, and we found out sooner, and it was worse than the Mona Monster" Hanna finished speaking, and curled up on Caleb, and then everything went silent.

"Spence found out who was still helping Mona, and that person was Toby." Aria whispered to Ezra.

"Ar, please just say his name, it would be so much easier to admit it to myself then" I said weakly, as I hugged Emily tighter. "Em, you were right it just takes a second for your world to come crumbling down." Another load of tears washed over me, and as I started to hyperventilate again I couldn't stop until Aria got me a paper bag. I was so sick of all the grieving.

"All, it takes is a one look Spence" Emily replied weakly.

"Why do I still love him?" I whispered as I kept looking down.

"You never fall out of love with a person you thought was true, and there's always a place in your heart where you still love them!" Emily replied, I let the tears stream down my face, of course Emily was right. She lost Maya, and she even says that she still loves her.

"It's different" I hesitated before saying the letter. "He's –A, it's breaking me to know I still love him and my mind is saying No, but my heart is saying You still love him."

"Because it is, and even though they're gone, they're still with you!"

"He's not gone in my heart"

"And neither in mine". Emily replied coldly, no trust in the man she once called her best friend. I ran to the bathroom, and hung my head over the toilet. I assumed Emily had run in, because her and me were taking it the hardest, we were taking the fall


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow! My story has hit over 250 views, and I have so much more to write, so I am gonna make as long as you like. In the comments you can suggest ideas and I will somehow incorporate them into the next or future chapters. Anyway, Enjoy. I didn't put disclaimer on the last chapter so I'll do it now. There will be a MAJOR TWIST AT THE END OF CHAPTER.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own pretty little liars sadly, but I own this story.**

"Are you sure?" Toby whispered in my ear, gently caressing my face with his warm hands. I nodded in agreement. He carried me to the bed, our lips never apart. I took of his low V-neck and started kissing his perfectly chiseled physique. He slowly unbuttoned my shirt, and as he was gently lowering me on the bed, I could feel no kisses. No warmth. No air. Black gloved hands were strangling me. There was no love in his eyes, they were the only part of his face I saw. He was dressed in all black.

I woke up screaming, my friends were already there. I was sweating all over, and I was crying. How was that possible, I had drunk no water, thinking it was the cause of all my tears. So I stopped drinking all together. The door opened just as I started hyperventilating. Aria went out into the doorway.

"Another bad dream?" Caleb asked Aria.

"Yup! God, I hate seeing her like this, oh and Hanna wants to see you." Aria replied, moving out the way to let Caleb enter.

"Are you okay, Ar?" Ezra asked, pulling her in for a hug.

"No, I'm not!" A scream erupted from the room as Ezra bent down to give her a soft kiss on the lips. "Come on, let's go inside." Aria said walking in with Ezra.

It took a while longer to get me to calm to fall asleep, and once I did. There was a sound, a muffled one. I wasn't the only one awoken by it. Aria and Caleb were too. At least I wasn't going crazy. We gave each other quizzical looks. I made a move to get up. But Caleb and Aria shook their heads vigorously. There was another sound, which woke the rest up. We were silent, looking at each other. I walked over to Ezra and Aria as Emily walked to Han and Caleb. Then the distant smashing of glass. I was silently crying into Ezra's arms. He enveloped us in his strong arms. The sound of a person letting himself or herself into your home, was frightening. After the events of what happened. There it was again, the sound of glass, but someone was stepping on it. Crunching it beneath their feet.

"Spence, do you think?" Aria whispered weakly, and I nodded in agreement. I haven't been saying much, if I did I was screaming it in my sleep, and then I would say sorry to everyone. I would mute myself. The person was coming up the stairs. Ezra and Caleb got up, ignoring the pleas coming from their loved ones. Hanna and Em came closer to us, we were all now crying, of what would might happen to them. They walked out of the bedroom door, and you could hear skin slapping skin, and grunts in pain, until you could hear someone fall down the stairs. Han and Aria basically sprinted to open the door. Caleb and Ezra were safe, but the guy who had fallen down the stairs. Well, he was gone. The two boys were looking at each other in confusion. The front door was flung open, and no trace of the person was left, of what they could see.

"Em, Spence." Aria called from the door, and they got up. They moved out the doorway to the landing, Em and I following close behind. The rest of the girls and I were watching as Ezra and Caleb made their way down the staircase and to were the body should have been laying. Caleb bent down, and picked up something small. We couldn't tell what it was, being so small. Hanna screamed down to Caleb leaning over the banisters.

"Caleb! Is that a bomb"

"No!" Caleb replied, laughing at Hanna's reaction, but then he went serious. "It's –A's USB Stick"

"Where's Ezra?" Aria asked, and then Ezra came back in holding something else. He turned and locked the door behind him. As Aria let a sigh of relief out, Caleb spoke up.

"Dude, What is that?"

"I think its –A's phone!" Ezra replied with. They made their way back upstairs, but before Caleb reached the door he ran downstairs. After a few minutes of worrying, he returned with two field hockey sticks. He threw one to Ezra and then locked the door with a chair. But it wasn't just a chair to me. It was THE chair. It was my rocking chair. The rocking chair that I thought was made by loving, kind hands, but was made with evil, violent ones. I grabbed the hockey stick from Caleb. I did this knowing that I would be one-step closer closure. I swung the field hockey stick in the air, and I threw it onto the chair. I kept hitting it, pretending that it was Toby. Pretending that I was hurting him, but in my heart it was hurting me. I didn't care, I knew that if Toby knew what I was doing It would hurt him. It was just a pile of splintered wood. I threw the hockey stick to one side, and went to open the window by my red chair. I did so, and went back to collect the pile of rubble. I threw it all out of the window, no regrets, but there was one, that I knew Toby wouldn't see what I had done.

When I turned around, all their faces where in shock of what I had just done. I had a feeling of pure satisfactory. I knew I made a mistake when I turned to get my laptop. I hadn't been on it for four days. And I had forgotten what I had on there, of course until I opened it. A slideshow of pictures of Toby, and me, with our songs in the background. Wonder wall was one of our favorite songs, but know it felt tainted. I once again started crying, and collapsed to the floor. I wanted to smash my laptop to pieces, but I knew I couldn't. Hanna hugged me, being the closest, I cried into her lap for another few minutes. They were all looking at the laptop screen, except for Hanna and me.

"What is it!" I asked looking up at Hanna. She shook her head meaning she didn't know what it was.

"What is it?" Hanna asked looking expectantly at Caleb. He gulped.

"They're home movies, pictures, and other things which I need to decode." This caused me to shoot right up, and look Caleb in the eye. I knew what home movies meant in my life, not happy memories, but videos that could torture you until the day you die.

"Of what?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Don't worry, I'm going to look at them later, with my eyes shut. But the thing is, you know the video of the night Ali died it shows the full video. Of someone's perspectives. But I don't know where it was taken from." Ezra's eyes widened as he figured something out.

"Ezra, What is it?" Aria asked him, as he got up to look out the window.

"That's what I thought!" Ezra said to himself.

"What's what you thought Ezra?" Aria asked getting to look out the window as well.

"The video was taken from somewhere in here." Before someone could say anything, Emily slammed the computer screen down. She was leaning into Caleb, who was hugging her back. I made a move to get my laptop.

"No, you don't want to see that. Trust me, Spence" Caleb said cautiously.

"Why? What's on there?" I asked him, already knowing the answer. We would finally found out who killed Ali, after these years waiting, and that would be it.

"Uh!" Caleb was stalling. I knew it.

"Tell us!" Hanna screamed in his direction. Caleb was still holding Emily.

"It shows who killed her"

"Who?" I nearly shouted causing Emily to jump out of Caleb's arms with a frightened look on her face.

"You didn't let me finish, it also shows how she was killed."

"We know that though?!" Aria said.

"Yeah, but it's not pretty. Anyways I will look at the laptop. You guys just do something to not try and look at it." Caleb got the laptop and moved to the desk. He opened up the screen, and paused it straight away. We all rushed over there. There was a slight shape of a body under the mud. Ali must not have been buried that much under the ground. She couldn't have died.

"I'll tell you if something comes up" Caleb half said and half whispered. We backed away to move where we just were. When Caleb shouted.

"Holy Shit!" We rushed back over there. He replayed the last bit, and then we saw it. A pale hand digging it's way out. A purple bracelet which had three letters on it. Ali. As the hand grew to an arm, and kept on uncovering more of Ali's body. I t uncovered her face and her head. Her shining blonde hair was no longer blonde. It was stained with blood, and something was dripping of her forehead. Her eyes looked like a panda's and her favorite yellow top was cut right below her bra. She uncovered herself from the dirt. It didn't seem like Ali. She was perfect in every way, you would never see her like this, even on a bad day. Not that she had many. She looked scruffy, and as she tried to get up, after several attempts of watching her struggle she lifted herself up. She was no longer poised, she was slouching. You could see that she was going paler every minute. And as she tried to jog over to the woods, she collapsed, clutching her stomach in a protective way. Then after twenty minutes, she got up slowly, and again struggling. She made her way to the woods, and never came back.

"She's alive!" Aria whispered.

"Who killed her?" I asked, wanting to know more.

"Uh! I think you gotta sit down for this, Han." Em said to Hanna, so she sat on Caleb's lap. He was getting mad, I could sense this, in his eyes you could see murder. Murder, for the person who killed Ali, and caused the person he loves and her friends so much pain. Hanna looked into his eyes, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Please don't say it was you!" Han asked him, trying to sound strong, but failing, miserably.

"It's not me!" Caleb chuckled as Han set out of a sigh of relief.

"Who is it then?" Hanna pleadingly asked her boyfriend.

"It was Lucas!" Hanna let some tears fall. She just had a look of shock, hate and farawayness.

"Wow! That explains a lot, we just have one more question left." I said, moving to sit down on the bed.

"That explains a fricin lot." Hanna exclaimed.

"Do you think he's on the –A team?" Ezra asked curiously.

"Well! We're going to find out." Caleb said staring blankly at the computer monitor. "Let's just click on a random file!" So Caleb did, he shooed us away, and only him and Ezra were looking at it. Their eyes were brimming with tears.

Caleb's Pov

I clicked on a random file, but I shouldn't have. I shooed the girls away before they could see anything. Only me and Ezra could see what was going on. My eyes were brimming with tears, and they were threatening to escape. –A had made a montage of the girls' roughest moments. First were short clips of the girls crying and voice-overs of what made them cry. Then it was all the break ups and their devastating reactions to it. Hanna stayed in her room for four days, eating nothing but dairy queens, crying every five minutes and was listening to sad songs on repeat. Emily's reaction to Maya's death – which was heartbreaking. Spencer crying leaning on a tree, her hand covering her mouth, to stop loud sobs escape from her throat. Then Aria, who had a tear-stained face, she had entered Snookers, and ordered herself a scotch. She didn't drink it, she let tears fall into it. Then there was Aria, drinking away her sorrows with any liquid alcohol drink she could find. Emily was running too hard and it caused her to spit up blood. Spencer was cutting herself, with deep long gashes. Then you saw Hanna, her head hung low, thrusting her fingers down her throat, forcing her to be skinny. I paused it, I couldn't watch anything like that anymore. I exited it quickly and went onto another file.

It was another montage, but not of the girls. It was all the people they had physically hurt. Me being shot; Maya being killed; Ali being killed; Ian being killed. But I exited it, I couldn't watch anymore, and I was sure Ezra couldn't either. I scrolled down the list until I found something, which caught my eye. –A's lair.

"Girls, come over here!" I said to them with an intrigued look on my face. They came over, and Hanna sat on my lap. My eyes were glued to the screen.

"Look at me!" Hanna whispered, loud enough for me to hear, but not everyone else. I looked at her, and she wiped tears of my face I didn't know I had. "Are you alright?" She looked deep into my eyes.

"Eh! I saw some pretty horrible stuff of you guys, but you're okay now." I whispered so only Han could hear.

"So, I just found this file of –A's lair, and it gives me the address." I said explaining to them. "So I suggest we go over there…" Hanna cut me off.

"No, it's too dangerous!"

"Yeah, but we can find out what they're planning to do." I replied, but she wouldn't give up.

"Why don't we just look at the other files, cause we might be able to find out who and what and crap." Spencer said, obviously not wanting to be hurting more than she already is.

"Fine, I will have a look, and will tell you anything! Now go over there." I said to the girls, even though I haven't spent a lot of time with them, they're my closest friends. I went on with working, but not for long. I came over a file:_** The –A Team. **_It had several things on it which I was shocked to read. I made a hand signal for them to come over.

"What is it?" Aria asked.

"It has a list of all the people who are on the –A team." I said, this was so damn confusing.

"Read it, then." Emily urged me.

"But the thing is, it's a list of people they set up to be –A. So they chose people that you guys love, make them look like –A, and then –A wins, your life is miserable." I said back, facing all of them.

"So, basically. They're framing people, and then…" Ezra started speaking, but was cut off by Spencer.

"Read it, so we know who are fake, and who are real."

"Alright, Ezra, Me, Paige, Aria, Holden, Maya, Garrett and Melissa. They are the fake –A's none of them were revealed so I'm guessing this is the future list." I felt sorry for Spence, we don't even know what –A was going to do next.

"Well, there's one thing we have got to do. We have to go to –A's lair." Spence said, walking over to the window, and looking out of it. "We've got to play a game of Hide and Seek, but don't worry, it was my favorite game when I was younger you know why. I always won!" She said it with a smirk, and it sent chills up my spine. How could Spencer be so cold. But she was right, this was all a game to the –A's , and this time we'll win.

**A/N WHAT DID YOU GUYS THINK, I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW AND IF YOU CAN COMMENT, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISCM WELCOME, IT MAKES MY DAY, IT REALLY DOES. NOT SURE WHEN NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UPLOADED, BUT IT WILL BE FILLED WITH DRAMA.**

**Bye for now, my lovelies xx**


	3. Chapter 3

General Pov

Spencer stared at the ceiling while laying in her bed, trying to get some sleep. She couldn't. Her room didn't feel like her room. It held too many memories. Just by laying in her bed, disgust tingles her own body. She had to get out. Not out of the house, just out of the room. Her parents out, and friends asleep, she knew she wouldn't be disturbing anyone. She gently hopped off her bed, and started to walk for the door. She maneuvered around her desk, and the box of stuff, she yet had to throw out. But, everyone knew the real reason why she wasn't throwing them away. She didn't have the heart. Her heart still belonged to Toby, and that's where it would stay. No one knows how long, but Spencer feels like it will be eternity. Toby was her true love, and she thought the same about him, she was wrong. She silently opened her door, walked out of her room, and gently closed. She inhaled shakily, and started wandering down the stairs. She doesn't know how long she's walking aimlessly around her house, but it brought her to a spot, where they once again made so many memories. The living room. She sat down against the plush chair, and imagined the fire crackling in front of her. As she looked deep into the imaginary fire she remembered that one night, from when they were sitting here, together.

"_Poor Hanna." Spencer says, as they both look into the fire, and coffee cups held in hand._

"_I'm sorry." Toby said, both of their legs are spread out towards the fire, and their eyes are staring pointlessly into the warming fire before them._

"_You didn't do anything." Spencer replied, and turns her head to look at him. _

"_I'm part of what happened to her, what's happening to all of you." Toby turns his head to look at her. He places an arm around her shoulder, in a comforting manner._

"_It's the other way around, Toby. Of what happened to you." And she gives him a knowing gaze, telling him it isn't his fault. He turns his head back towards the fire, and follows suit. "Do you just wanna run away." She said after a few seconds of silent, and she turns her head back towards him._

"_Cold." He looks back into her gaze. "Didn't you ever run away." _

"_Once. I think I was seven. My sister and I had an argument over something and, my parents took Melissa's side."_

"_What were you fighting about?"_

"_Some great injustice, I can't remember. But, they sided with her, so I made a tuna salad sandwich, and I ran away." She smiled at the memory, and he smiled also._

"_Where did you go?" She looks back at him, smiling. _

"_The movies." She paused. "It was something animates. There was a princess, and everybody was singing." She pauses once again, and tilts her head to look at the fire once more. "And I got lonely, and I ate my tuna salad sandwich, and then I came home."_

"_Were your parents worried?" She gently shook her head._

"_They hadn't even noticed I was gone." Toby looks down, and then back again. He squeezes her shoulder. _

"_Do me a favor." She looks at him._

"_What?"_

"_If you ever get the urge to run away again, call me first, okay." She smiles._

"_Okay." He breathes in, and takes Spencer's hand. Their gazes return back to the fire._

She wiped away a tear that was rolling down her face. He ran away without her, and he took something, priceless. He took her heart. She still stared aimlessly into the imaginary fire. She remembered all the flinches and dark looks that disappeared as soon as they came. How could she not see it. She had thought of him a devil, and then he came and sweeped her off her feet with his charm. She fell in love him, and she doesn't know the truth about him. She doesn't know if he loves her. She knows that he doesn't, but there's still an ounce left of hope for them. She stays like this until morning, letting time run by without a care in the world.

"How did I not see it?" She mumbled to herself.

General Pov Spencer's bedroom

Emily was the first to wake up. She was in Spencer's bed, and she looked around. Aria, Ezra, Hanna and Caleb were sleeping on the floor. She looked to her left, and no Spencer.

"Fuck." Emily whispered, and grabbed two pillows. She threw them at Hanna and Aria. The both moaned, and kept their eyes closed.

"What?" Aria mumbled.

"Spencer's gone." They both shot out of their boyfriend's arms, which caused them to stir.

"What do you mean Spencer's gone." Hanna whispered furiously.

"I don't know, I just woke up, and she's not here."

"Okay. Don't worry. She might be downstairs or something." Aria said.

"Let's check." The trio walked out of Spencer's room, and slowly down the stairs. The reached the point where you can see the living room, and they can't see you. Spencer was sitting there, staring aimlessly into the fire. They all breathed a sigh of relief, and retreated back to the bedroom.

"How long do you think she's been down there?" Hanna asked, as they all settled on bed.

"Only god knows. Why do you think she didn't want to sleep up here." Aria said, and a light bulb in Hanna's mind flicked on.

"What if it's sacred ground, and it's just too painful to lay in." Hanna whispered 'sacred ground'.

"How did we not think of that?" Emily said.

"Yeah, but come on. She's in love with the guy." Aria said.

"Do you think he'll actually come back, because I really hate seeing her so, so broken." Hanna said.

"Do you think one of us should talk to her."

"I think it should be you, Em."

"Yeah."

"I just want to rip his head off."

"Well, it seems like our hunch is right, he does want to hurt us."

"Maybe us, but what about Spencer. Surely he wouldn't have hurt Spencer."

"I don't know."

"What if we set him up?"

"How, he's not even picking up his phone."

"We can use a payphone."

"And then we just say we're the hospital or something and say something bad happened."

"Who does he really care about, though."

"His Mother, that's the only person. His fathers no us, and seeing as Spencer's out of the picture, I'm guessing I am too."

"Are you alright, Em? About Toby."

"I actually thought he was my friend. I said I am way more angry than scared, but right now, I'm just angry." Emily said.

"I know, Em. Oh wait. Shit." Hanna said.

"What." Aria said.

"Remember that night, when we got a text from A saying, Show me your boobs. A won. Ugh, we should've seen that coming."

"A for annoying." Emily said, and Hanna and Aria snickered. "What."

"You said that." Aria said.

"Did I?"

"Yes, and you were drunk of your ass so you wouldn't remember." Hanna earned a glare from Aria. "Anyways, how do we get Toby to come down here?" They were silent for a few moments.

"I've got it. We say we're the place that Toby's mother was buried, and say that the body was taken." Aria said.

"Where was she buried." Hanna asked.

"The place where Ali was. God, what's the name." Emily said, while racking her brain. They were silent.

"Maso-something." Hanna whispered after a while, and Aria clapped.

"Mausoleum." Aria said. "So we say we are the mausoleum people, and say his mothers body was stolen, and then we'll see if he comes down. If he comes down to the mausoleum we corner him, we ask him why, and we'll wing it."

"Seems legit." Emily said.

"How do we get his number, because obviously he changed his phone number." Hanna said.

"Your boyfriend is a hacker. Do the math." Aria said, and winked.

"Oh, right."

"I think I should talk to Spencer now." Emily said, and left the room.

"Shall we wake them up?" Aria asked. Hanna nodded, and grabbed two pillows, and handed one to Aria.

"Aim and throw." Hanna said, and they threw the cushions in their boyfriend's faces, and they woke up.

"What." They both moaned.

"We've got a plan." Aria said.

"Alright, go on." Caleb said.

"Wait." Hanna said, and put on some music from her phone.

"Now's not the time for a dance part, Han." Aria said.

"Yes, but A hasn't stopped listening ever, what makes you think they have now."

"Alright so we find Toby's phone, tell him to go to the mausoleum, and say you're mum's body has been nicked. He might come, and then we'll just ask him."

"Okay, but where's Spencer and Emily." Ezra asked.

"We found Spencer downstairs just staring at the fireplace. Em's talking to her right now."

General Pov The living room

Emily gently walked down the stairs, and sat down next to an out of it Spencer. Emily didn't know what to do, what to say, but she just knew that maybe her presence there would show her, that somebody loved her. She took Spencer's hand in hers, and she started crying.

"How did I not see it? He was there right in front of me, and here I am thinking he's the most honest person in the world. I just want to give up, I don't know what to do." Spencer said, and leaned into Emily's side. Emily tried not to cry, because now she thought of it too, he was right in front of her, and she didn't notice it. But she told herself to stay strong for Spencer. Emily hugged her close, because was this not only comforting for Spencer, but it was for her too. "The dark looks, the flinches when I said something regarding his niceness, everything. How could I not see it?"

"You're in love, and that's normal. You didn't see it, because you didn't want to." Emily whispered. She couldn't speak properly with a strong voice, because she knew she would break down, and she knew she couldn't. Spencer was too fragile at the moment, she was almost like Emily when she lost Maya.

"I don't want to be in love any more."

"You'll get over him some time."

"I don't think I can. I keep telling myself that I will be able too. But, I can't because he's just… Toby. The guy who stole my heart and he ripped it into a thousand pieces."

"I know it seems like that now, Spence, but when you take the first step outside of that box, you feel like you can, and even if you still love him, that's okay. Its okay, because they never really leave your heart. If it was the same for me, it's the same for you."

"I'm really sorry, Em."

"What for?"

"Because first it was Maya, and now it's Toby. It's okay to break sometimes." Emily let a few tears slip, and they landed on Spencer's hair. "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be the one saying sorry, Spence. It should be the jack ass who we thought was our friend."

"Do we have a plan yet?" Emily chuckled.

"Yes we do have a plan."

"What is it?" Spencer pulled away from the hug, her eyes eager to know more.

"Well, Caleb will track down Toby's phone, probably Aria will call him and say she's from the mausoleum, and we'll say his mother's body has been stolen. We don't exactly know what to do next. Any ideas Spence." Spencer nodded her head, and started pacing the room. Emily smiled; she loved to see her friend was returning back to normal. Well, almost.

"Okay, so I already wrote his name on the grave, so I can pretend I just finished it off. He'll think it was me, and we'll just shout in there. You guys will get it on tape, so we can see what he's saying. Because if the things he said to me are true, I could be able to crack him. And that's the only bit of hope we have to finding answers, otherwise we're screwed. We could get Mona, but who in their right minds would want to go to Mona for answers, when we could get Toby. Because I think Mona is lying, she's being too cocky. Toby is acting secretive. So we've got to get to Toby. Screw Mona."

"Okay, lets tell the others." Spencer looked outside the window to a black blob in the forest. "No, Spencer. You're not going outside." Emily said, as Spencer got a knife from the knife holder and walked towards the door.

"Relax, Em. I'm just trying to scare it off." And she was gone.

"Guys, get your butts down here, and run outside." Emily screamed up the stairs, as she grabbed a knife herself and ran downstairs. Spencer was nearing the edge of the forest, and slowing down. Emily sprinted after her, and could hear the others behind her. She could hear the conversation between the two.

"Don't Spencer. I'm not here to hurt you, I am here to help you." The dark voice said, and it sounded very familiar. Spencer dropped the knife, and hugged the figure. He hugged back.

"Jase, where the hell have you been." Spencer said.

"Your boyfriend of yours took me from the hospital, and he told me everything, I know about A." Jason replied.

"Who the hell is that?" Caleb said, as they came to a stop beside Emily.

"Jason." She replied simply.

"Why didn't you call me, and tell me where you were staying." Spencer said, and pulled away from the hug.

"I didn't know, your boyfriend just dropped me off." Jason said, and Spencer once again picked up her knife. She walked into woods, and scanned them. She walked in deeper, the soil dirtying her feet.

"Toby. If you're out there, I want you to give me the entire god damn answers, and you won't have to see me again." Spencer's shaky voice shouted out, and it echoed in the forest. Everyone heard the rustle of leaves, and the crunches of twigs. Spencer started breathing heavily, and she walked deeper into the forest, knife held out in front of her. "If you come out now, it means that you did all of this to protect me, and that you still love me. And if you don't it means that our whole relationship was to use me, and make me believe that you actually loved me." The same sound sounded again, but it was getting further and further away. Spencer let her tears flow, and she felt her legs go. Soon she was on the forest floor, wishing that the pain could end.


	4. Chapter 4

"How could you?" Toby's voice whispered through the mausoleum, as Spencer was finishing off writing his name on his Mother's grave. She scoffed, dropped the key, and turned around.

"You're one to talk. I should be asking that. How could you be the person who I feared so much, who we feared so much? Your such a hypocrite." Spencer said, she wanted to know why he did it. Why he caused so much pain to her.

"I was doing it to protect you."

"I can't believe you, because you could've protected me in another way."

"There was no other way. You kept on lying to me, there was no other way."

"Really, Toby. Because I was trying to protect you. I couldn't get you killed, like Ali or Maya. I should've been protecting myself when the love of my life turned out to be my stalker."

"I was doing it to protect you."

"Then why didn't you come out, and say it in the forest yesterday."

"I was scared."

"Oh, you're saying you were scared. I should be the one who is scared. We should be the ones who are scared. We are the ones being stalked by people we thought we knew. But that's not the story, and I don't know if I can ever forgive you for this."

"You have no idea what red coat can do, Spencer."

"I have a pretty good idea of it Toby. I don't know how long she's been around, but I'm guessing its been from the start. I know what she is capable of Toby. She can scare four teenage girls shitless."

"You want answers, I'll give them to you."

"Why did you have to do this? I don't know what to believe the Pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I've ever done or How long have you known. Why did you have to do it."

"I wanted to protect you."

"I need more of a damn explanation. I can't believe you when you say I wanted to protect you, when four days ago you were in my kitchen, wearing that black hoodie, searching for the key you dropped in front of Hanna at the mannequin store. You could've told me you loved me then and there, and we would still be okay."

"I did it because I knew you needed protecting, you know everything. Everything is right in front of you, and they know that. They are scared you will figure everything out, because they know you are smart enough. I have been trying to not get you killed."

"Then why didn't you just tell me you were –A. We could've gone through this damn mess together."

"Because –A is always watching."

"I know that Toby, but you could've shut the blinds, or tried to do something to block the sound out."

"I couldn't they've got everything hooked."

"What do you mean by everything."

"They've got all their houses, bedrooms, basically everything hooked."

"That's how they know everything, but how do they know our secrets."

"Ali's diary." I flinched and remembered the memory of us coming out the church when Ali started to write in her diary she said we were going to need it.

"Where is Ali's diary, it's got all the answers, we need."

"It's burned, they're all burned."

"Was is you who broke into my house."

"Someone broke into your house."

"I don't think it's that big of a surprise. As you said you know what she can do, what they can do. Ezra and Caleb pushed him down the stairs, but he was gone as soon as he came. He left a USB stick which we've been looking at, and one of the A phone's that Caleb has yet to crack." Spencer can read Toby more than anyone else, and she knew that he knew who it was. "Toby. I know that you know who it was. Please tell me, please." Toby stuffed his hands in his pocket, and looked at the ground.

"I think we both know. Who's that weak, and who had dropped a phone before."

"Lucas." He nodded. "Toby." He looked up. "Why did you say don't lie, when you were keeping the biggest lie of all. You always got really pissed at me for not telling you stuff, which I should've of told you, but you're A and I think I should've known that."

"I didn't want to ruin what we had. I have no idea how you got the Radley pass."

"Really, because I was in you're loft, and I found it in your drawer. It didn't seem like you cared if I found out."

"It was supposed to be under my mattress." There was a silence between them.

"Did you drug Emily that night."

"Which night, there's more than one."

"I think you know which night."

"No I didn't."

"Did you dig up Ali's body."

"Yeah."

"And you framed your drunk best friend."

"I didn't say I was happy about it, they said if it wasn't me they would hurt her. I couldn't let that happen."

"You didn't have to frame her."

"That was red coat."

"Did you sneak into my house, and call her."

"No."

"Then who did?"

"Mona."

"I had Mona in my house." He simply nodded, like it was no big deal. "Did you kill Garret?" He shook his head. "Give me some answers, I don't know everything."

"You do, Spencer. Look at the USB every folder."

"We'll get Caleb to look at it."

"No."

"Why not? There are montages of us at our worst moments, of the moments where we've wanted to kill ourselves. We know how she was attempted to be murdered."

"What do you mean attempted to be murdered."

"Wait. You didn't know. Alison didn't die, she dug herself out." He looked far away. "Did you film her being killed? Where you in my bedroom filming her being buried alive." He still looked desperate. "You did didn't you." He shook his head.

"I know who was filming."

"Who."

"Wren." Why of all people would it be Wren? Something clicked in her brain. Was he the beach hottie?

"Is he the beach hottie." Toby nodded his head. "How long have you been on the A team?"

"Since I kissed you at the motel." It felt like someone had stabbed Spencer in the chest, repeatedly. Their memories were tainted with lies. After all this time, after everything he was her stalker, since the beginning. "I knew something was up between Jenna and you girls. First of all I thought it was because of The Jenna Thing, but I checked her A phone. I saw some of the texts." She cut him off.

"What texts did you see?"

"Some of all of yours." Spencer swallowed, because at that moment she knew that he knew everything. All of their secrets which he shouldn't know.

"If you were –A why did you threaten our relationship. All of our relationships."

"That wasn't me. I knew what they were doing, and I had to play along like I didn't know anything, but I did, and I know I should've told you, that I know everything, but I was too afraid of losing you."

"Why did you have to get Jason involved."

"They would've killed him, and I know you can't lose any more people."

"Why couldn't you have just asked me about it, saying you know what's going on. If you knew what was going on I would've told you. We wouldn't be in this mess. I wouldn't be thinking that you used me?"

"I thought the best way to stop it was to infiltrate it, and try to stop it from the inside out. But, then I knew it wasn't because I learned that I couldn't have you."

"Where you the one who saved Emily, with that phone call."

"Yeah, and I saved you from the bell tower."

"I should be going." Spencer turned to leave, but toby spun her around by the arm. There faces where inches apart, and as Toby leaned forward, Spencer pulled away. "This isn't the movies, Toby. I won't come running up to you, and I won't say I love you. This is real life, where people walk away. I'm not saying that this. That us, couldn't work, but I'm saying that I don't think we could ever be as comfortable as we were. And that kills me so much. I just need time to think, about my options, about our options." She turned to leave, not bothering to pick up the key.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't take back what you did."

**What do you guys think will happen next. Review please. **


	5. Chapter 5

She lay there on her bed once again in the night. She could feel the silent tears cascading down her face, but yet her body felt numb all over. She sat up, and brought her knees to her chest, and buried her face in them. She had a feeling in her stomach, but she didn't know what it was. She swallowed a lump in her throat, she didn't want to cry anymore, and she didn't want to be Spencer Hastings anymore. She heard something click downstairs, and she moved to get out of bed. Her body racking with nerves, and it was radiating off her. Her whole body was shaking with them. She reached down for the hockey stick next to Ezra, and walked silently to the bedroom door. She turned the doorknob, careful not to make a sound. She walked down the stairs, and there she saw it. Once again she saw the black hoodie in her kitchen. But, this time it was different. He wasn't searching for the key, he was sitting on the couch. He looked up at her, and she knew he had been crying. Never the less she whacked his shoulder with the hockey stick. He flinched, and rubbed his arms.

"Why are you here?" Spencer whispered.

"I am here to apologize. To make you believe what we had was real." Toby whispered, standing up.

"I don't think the best way for you to do that is to break into my house, to fulfill a mission of yours. Or do you have minions, that we don't know of."

"Please Spencer, you have got to believe me."

"I can't, Toby. You lied to me, and I don't know if I can trust you again."

"I know you can, Spencer. There's hope." He loops an arm around her waist, there faces merely apart.

"You know how I feel about hope, it breeds eternal misery. Of all people you know that." She makes no move to get out of the position he's holding her in. In the least, she finds it comforting. Comforting to have a familiar arm around her waist.

"I had hope for us. I still have hope for us."

"I don't, I used too. But I don't. I may have had hope if you didn't run away that night, but I guess we'll never know, because I don't even know if I can ever forgive you for the horrible things you did."

"It wasn't me, Spencer."

"But you played for the same team." A creak sounded on the stairs, and Spencer turned around to look who it was. She couldn't see who it was. When she turned back around Toby was gone. She ran outside, and tried to search for him in the dark sky. But, it was impossible, even if he was a few meters away; she still wouldn't be able to see him, because he was dressed in black. Because he's –A. "This is why I don't have hope, because you run away, and you don't fight for what we may have or had. This is why I don't have hope for us." She screamed into the night. She walked back into the living room, and locked all the doors. She almost jumped out of her own skin when she saw Hanna sitting on the stairs. Spencer sat down next to her, and Hanna pulled her closer. "Why is it so difficult, Han."

"Because it's is." Hanna simply replied, as Spencer laid her head on Hanna's shoulder.

"I don't want it to be. Why does it have to be us?"

"I don't know, we've all been wondering about that."

"How did you know I was here?"

"I heard the click of the door, I saw you get up, and decided to follow you. I heard Toby's voice, and decided to give you privacy. Then the stupid stairs squeaked."

"Why didn't you come down when I was talking to Toby."

"Because I know that he won't physically hurt you. I can see he loves you, you can too."

"I don't know if I can forgive him, Han."

"No ones asking you too, we're all on your side more than his, but I know that he loves you, and I know that he won't hurt you more than he already has."

"How do you know?"

"I just know, I could hear it in his voice."

"How come I couldn't."

"I think you have a battle going on inside your head, and you don't take the time to notice, because you don't know which side to take."

"How come you're so smart."

"To be honest, I don't know how I'm this smart. So let's go upstairs before everyone starts to worry."

…

Spencer Pov

I said I was going for a walk; they put up a fight though. Finally they pulled through, and allowed me, I needed some fresh air, to clear my mind. I needed to do something other than crying. I was walking down the streets, when I saw it. I saw the building that matched the description of the lair on the USB drive. Luckily, I had the key in my purse. I walked in, and navigated myself towards the room. From the outside it looked like a room, but inside I knew it would hold all the answers. And that there will still be hope. I unlocked the door, and walked in, getting my hopes up to high. There was nothing, just crusty old walls, and a mattress propped up against the wall. I shut the door, and covered my mouth with my hand, to stop loud sobs escaping. It didn't help. My wails bounced from the bare walls. I fell to the floor, and hit the ground hard with my free fist. I looked around the room again, wondering if I had missed anything. Just maybe one thing in the room that has hope. That held hope for the torturing to stop. That held hope for us.

I did see a small recording camera in each corner of the room, and I knew they would be expecting me to come find it. So they hid all the evidences of hope, so I would break. But, what they didn't know, was that I was already broken. I wiped away the tears, and swallowed the gigantic lump in my throat. I was weak, they knew it, but they wanted to see me suffer. I used the wall to help me get to my feet. I bit my lip, and breathed in deeply. I walked around the apartment, my heels clacking on the wood floor. I knelt by the mattress, hoping there was any clue of hope, any sign of hope, and gesture of hope. I got my pen knife out of my pocket, and started opening the mattress. I saw a cream piece of paper with Toby's handwriting on it. I reached for it, and opened it up. Tears smudged the writing, and I started reading.

_My Dearest Spencer_

_I love you with all my heart, and I always have and I always will. I did all of this to protect you. I started to first of all to protect Emily. She wasn't herself, I knew it, and I decided to do more information. Then of course, you started teaching me French, and that was when I knew you were different. Different from Ali. And that I knew you were one of the most caring, funny, sarcastic sweetest and indescribable I had ever met, I have ever met. _

_I love you so much, and I know that we will probably never meet again. You'd be scared, or your friends wouldn't let me near you. I know this, and that is why I am writing this letter. It is breaking my heart knowing that I won't be able to explain this in person, but I know this is the only plausible way._

_As I said I started off to protect Emily, but I met you, and I like I said I knew you were different. I was falling for you once I got to know you, and it very much became a double agent act. To protect you, mostly you, but I also couldn't let your friends have it bad either. I know things, which I can't say in this letter, because they will kill you, Spencer._

_And if there is one thing on earth that I'm sure about is that they can't kill you, I love you too much too let you go. _

_I want you to meet me at the same motel in the same room, when you find this letter. I don't mind when you come, I want you to know that I'll always be here for you, and that I'll always be waiting for you. _

_I love you so much, you are my everything. I hope we can work this out, even if you don't believe in hope, I know you still know there is hope. At least I think I do. I want us back to the way we where. I want no secrets, and we can be on top off the world together._

_I'll be there waiting Spencer, day and night. If I'm not there, there's a spare key under the matt, I just want you to know, that I love you._

_And I'll always be there for you, through thick and thin. Forever, and that's a promise. It's the easiest promise I have never made._

_Love Toby_

I read the paper over and over, and not only were Toby's tears visible on the page, but mine were too. Everything he said was true. Our love was true. Everything he did was to protect me. To protect us.

He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn't contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way I understood him. And I loved him. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him…And I still love him. I love him."


	6. Chapter 6

Spencer walked into her bedroom. She had finally convinced them to leave, after some arguing Aria, Emily, Hanna, Ezra and Caleb finally left, but the girls said they would check up on her tomorrow night. She said yes, because she wanted to see Toby, she didn't want a fight about it, and after everything that's happened she knew it was reasonable. She sat on her bed, and re-read the letter for what felt like the thousandth time. Spencer still couldn't believe this was happening, nor could she believe that this wasn't a dream. She felt the letter, and read the letter, and folded it back up, putting it safely back in her desk drawer. She ran down to her car, and started the engine, leaving everything behind, she just needed Toby, and that was it.

She parked, and got out of her car. Toby's truck wasn't there, she guessed he hadn't brought it with him, so –A couldn't trace him. She locked it, and walked over to his, but still stopped at the place they had shared their first kiss. She smiled, and let a tear of happiness fall from her eye. He did it to protect her, everything was for her. He still loved her. She knocked on the door. But there was no answer. Spencer knocked on the door once again, and there was no answer. She lifted up the mat, and picked up the key. She let herself in, and looked around the room. She touched the bed covers softly with her fingers, as she walked around the room, thinking about some of the memories they had made. When he beat her at scrabble. When they slept in the same bed, just as friends, and when she first wore Toby's shirt. When he found out about her coffee addiction. She smiled, and turned. Something on the desk caught her eye. It was a note, written in something red. Shivers went up and down her spine as she thought what the red liquid might be. She approached the dresser, where the note was placed, it read:

_If you want your precious Toby back, better search somewhere. I suggest the wood. Get here soon, or I'll cut his throat -A_

She gasped, and let another tear fall, but this time not of happiness, but it was sadness. She ran out the motel, locking it once again. She ran to the woods, which were placed on the border of the motel. They couldn't take Toby from her, not after everything that has happened. She sprinted to the woods, and tripped when she came to a small clearing. She raised her head, and her eyes located on a body. Bit not just a body. His body. Toby's body. She stood up, more tears falling from her eyes, as she came closer. She was about to pick up his motorbike helmet, when a voice like Mona's announced two words that would make her life come crumbling down.

"He's dead." Her cold voice echoed through the woods, and bounced off trees, as if it was traveling at the speed of light.

"Mona!" Spencer screamed, and ran after Mona, who was camouflaged behind a tree. She chased her, until Spencer came to a small clearing, Mona was gone, and she couldn't do anything to her. Toby was gone. Her Toby was gone, and she had no one to hold her. Her legs gave way, and she fell to the ground in a crying heap. "Toby. Toby!" Spencer called out weakly, and there was no answer. It was silent, and for her the silence was deafening. "Toby." Spencer whispered, and looked up to the sky, as if she was talking to the heavens above. "Toby, I love you." She whispered once again, and whimpered. Tears were falling uncontrollably from her eyes, and she couldn't see. Everything was a blur.

"Spencer. Spencer!" A manly voice called out into the forest, and Spencer knew it was Toby. She could pick out his voice from a crowd of millions. She rubbed her eyes, but still cried. "Spencer!" Toby called out once again, with agony and want in his voice. He needed her to be alive, because even God doesn't know what he would do. "Spencer!" There was more urgency in his call this time, because he had to have her alive. He needed her to be alive.

"Toby." She called out weakly. Spencer tried to stand but her knees were far too weak. She heard footsteps, and knew they were Toby's, well she hoped they were. "Toby." She called out again, and the footsteps became louder, and clearer. She felt someone engulf her in a gigantic bear hug, and she started sobbing uncontrollably. His t-shirt being used as a tissue for Spencer's tears. Her arms moved to snake around his neck, and she clung onto him tightly, as if her life depended on it. Spencer's legs wrapped around Toby's hips, as he sat down on the dusty floor, and like her arms, she was clinging on tightly, never wanting him to leave, and she never wanted to let go. Her head was buried in the crook of his neck, she was smelling his scent, and she never wanted to smell another thing again. One of Toby's hands was cradling the back of her head, and neck. His arms snaked tightly around Spencer's hips, and waist, and he pushed her closer to him, never wanting to have her out of his hold ever again. His head was buried in her hair, smelling in her coconut shampoo that he'd missed for more than he'd like to say. They sat there, perfectly compelled to one another. It was natural for them. No words were needed for them to have a connection. "Toby." Spencer's muffled voice whispered. She just needed to hear his name, believe that this real. Believe that he was holding her. Believe that he loved her. Believe that he was there, holding her as if his life depended on it. Believe that he was gently rocking her back and forth, and that she was curled up in his arms.

"I'm so glad that you're safe, I don't know what I would do without you." Toby whispered in her ear, trying to get past the gigantic lump in his throat, but miserably failing. He let his tears fall onto Spencer's hair, and he didn't bother trying to wipe them away. He was just happy that he had her in his arms once again.

"I thought you were dead. There was a body, with your tattoo." She hiccupped, and tried to calm her sobs before carrying on. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I've been a mess these past days, thinking you didn't love me." Spencer said, muffled by his neck. She started sobbing again, soaking Toby's shirt once more.

"Spence, baby. Don't cry. I'm here, and I will protect you from any more harm, and I will protect you until the die I day. Because I love you so much. I have always loved you, and it's so definite that I will love you until the end of time." Toby cooed, trying not to get the tears in his way from making a speech. "I'm here, and everything is going to be okay." It was a comfortable silence between both of them just happy to be in each other's company. Soon her loud cries, became muffled sniffs.

"Can we please go back to the motel?" Spencer hiccupped once again. He nodded, and lifted her off the ground as well as himself. They were in the same position walking. Her arms around his neck, his around her waist and hips. Her legs clinging to his hips, and her face buried in his neck. He started walking, as he was sure Spencer was in his hold, and that she wouldn't fall. He stopped, after a few steps.

"What about your car?" She sniffled, and clung onto him tighter.

"I didn't bring it, I ran." She whispered, and he nodded to himself. He walked over to his truck, and slipped inside with Spencer still on his lap. He figures he could drive a short distance sitting like this. So he did, and either of them wouldn't want it any other way.


End file.
